Still getting used to the idea

Still getting used to the idea

Maybe that’s the problem, he just does not get it.

I had my annual hospital appointment this morning. It is my husbands day off and he woke up as I was getting ready to leave. Since he was awake I asked him to help me get to my appointment . So he drove me to the hospital and sat with me in the waiting room but did not accompany me into the consultation room. It as a bit odd.

During the consultation with my consultant, we established that my brain scan from last year was essentially unchanged – my bulky pituitary remains unchanged and the left sided nodule is stable at 5mm. My prolactin is just over 250 and all the other tests that they did were normal. I have also lost weight, last year I was 64.8kg and today I am 61.8kg. Much of the conversation was around when I was likely to get pregnant – so I told my endocrinologist that we were planning for the next year. I told him I was newly married and we wanted to settle down first ( I missed out he reluctant husband aspect – just too complicated). I joked that when I eventually got pregnant I would be an elderly primip but he told me that that was normal for the UK. He wished me all the best , gave me my blood test request form for another prolactin level in a year.

My husband seemed a bit sheepish when I stepped out of the room, he said that he was sorry that he did not come in with me for the appointment. He said that we felt a bit foolish. He said that he was still getting used to the idea of being my husband. But next time he would be there. I as usual told him not to worry and gave him a reassuring squeeze around his waist. But inside I was thinking “what is wrong with you?!??”
I wondered if this is how all men are like. Or is it just me and him and our relationship? Maybe I’m not being a good enough wife for him to think he is an actual husband. Maybe it does take some getting used to, this change in status and position.

I do not know.

He drove me to the station so that I could get back to work and I thanked him for being a  good husband for driving me around.
Maybe these things just take time before they really sink in. I just do not see how we can really be a strong team, a solid unit, if he is still getting used to the idea of being a husband.

This is a work in progress.


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