And so in my summer of discontent it occurred to me to notice the difference between how we greet each other when we arrive home. When I am home first, I greet him at the door with a hug and kiss. I offer to get him a drink of his choice. I sit on the bed with him and cuddle him and ask him how his day was. Sometimes I massage his legs if they are hurting and then I go an make his dinner.
When I return from work, he does not get out of his chair from which he has been sitting for most of the evening surfing the Internet. Instead he will swivel around and reach his head around for a kiss that I will duly provide, and turn back to the screen. I then will get changed and find my own drink and more often than not, I will offer to cook dinner, even though he might have been home all day or it is ‘his turn’ .
It does seem more than a little unfair. I never really noticed this until a few weeks ago when I started to feelgenerally unappreaciated.
So I told him about it and how I felt. And – no he still has not changed. The day after he stepped away from his chair and offered me a kiss. But since then – it’s back to the same old pattern.
Sometimes I just wonder what kind of a man I married. I keep telling him that I am a responsive wife – that when he talks I listen and make changes as needed out of respect for him. But it seems that it is not quite two way yet. I despair.