Was it all a lie…? Did I know this would happen? Did I sweep the problems under the carpet? Did I turn a blind eye to what was happening and what others could clearly see. Did I deliberately ignore their warnings? I thought I had things under control. I thought that with hard work, good will, good spirit things would be OK.
I am not sure how to change things. Talking seems not to have helped. I do not know what action to take. Or rather, I know which action to take but I am too afraid of the consequences. I guess when it comes down to it, I am afraid of being alone. The irony is, that the other half of the equation is not afraid, and I suspect he would up and leave if things were not meeting his needs. I should so bold and brave and do this. I should stand up for my rights. I should refuse to accept to be treated this way and stop pretending that this is OK. I should stop pretending this treatment is acceptable. I should face reality.